CSI: Parodies
by TurboWiz70
Summary: For those who love parodies and CSI: Miami, this is definetly something to check out. More will be added over time. No particular order, so feel free to skip around! Read, review, enjoy!
1. Horatio

CSI:Miami is awesome. Parodies are awesome. CSI: Miami and parodies are awesome!!! This one goes to the tune of "Fernando" by ABBA and it is about Horatio's life!!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song

* * *

Horatio

Verse One:

Can you hear the guns

Horatio

Remember long ago

On another sunny day like this

()()

In the sunlight

Horatio

You were talking to your team

And slowly putting on your shades

()()

I can hear the distant sounds

Of waves a rushing

From afar

()()

Mala Noche were close enough

Horatio

Every day, every scene

Seemed to last eternity

()()

You were never afraid

Horatio

Marisol was young and full of life

And you weren't prepared for her to die

()()

And you aren't ashamed to say

That some of your cases almost

Made you cry

()()

Chorus:

There's something in the air these days

Not just sun's rays

Horatio

()()

You are here to stop the madness

To fight for justice

Horatio

()()

I have yet to know you lose

But you have some regrets

If you had to do the same again

()()

Would you, my friend

Horatio

()()

Verse Two:

You are tall and red

Horatio

For many years

I've seen a badge in your hand

()()

Can you hear the guns

Horatio

Do you still recall all

The times you took a major stand

()()

I can see it in your eyes

How proud you are

To fight for justice on Miami land

()()

Chorus:

There's something in the air these days

Not just sun's rays

Horatio

()()

You are here to stop the madness

To fight for justice

Horatio

()()

I have yet to know you lose

But you have some regrets

()()

If you had to do the same again

Would you, my friend

Horatio

()()

Ending:

There's something in the air these days

Not just sun's rays

Horatio

()()

You are here to stop the madness

To fight for justice

Horatio

()()

I have yet to know you lose

But you have some regrets

()()

If you had to do the same again

Would you, my friend

Horatio

()()

If you had to do the same again

Would you, my friend

Horatio

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	2. I Ain't at MDPD Anymore

Alexx is the best!! She rocks!!! I love her personality and it made me really bummed when she left the show!! This parody, based on the song "I Ain't in Checotah Anymore" by Carrie Underwood, is about how Alexx might think during a bad day at the hospital where she now works. READ AND REVIEW!!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song

* * *

I Ain't at MDPD Anymore

Intro:

Where there is Horatio and Calleigh

There is MDPD

And all of them

Were so kind to me

()()

Give us any day

We can solve any case of any kind

From robbery to murder

Doing all we can and we'd

Do it together

()()

But I ain't at MDPD anymore

()()

Verse One:

This hospital in Miami

Holds more people than the Morgue

And these aren't exactly the people

That I like to work for

()()

I'd rather be at

Any kind of crime scene

Then pulling patients

Through the ER door

()()

But I ain't at MDPD anymore

()()

Chorus:

This place is so tall

I fear I might fall

I miss the crime scene call

I miss it all

()()

Verse Two:

In a place of diseases

And medicines on a shelf

Helping someone feel better

Makes me feel good about myself

()()

Some things aren't fun here

Like watching someone

Puke on the floor

But I ain't at MDPD anymore

()()

Chorus:

This place is so tall

I fear I might fall

I miss the crime scene call

I miss it all

()()

Verse Three:

Where Ryan first came on the team

Where Tripp can get so mean

Where Eric and Calleigh became one

Where Horatio found his son

()()

I ain't at MDPD anymore

()()

Bridge:

Oh yeah

()()

Chorus:

This place is so tall

I fear I might fall

I miss the crime scene call

I miss it all

()()

Ending:

But I ain't at PD

No I ain't at PD

Oh

There's nothing like

CSI

()()

Where there's Horatio and Calleigh

There is MDPD

* * *

If you liked this, please review. If you have a suggestion, please review. If you have anything to say, please review. If all you're going to do is complain, please review, but don't be rude!!


	3. Tripp

Frank Tripp is the bomb!! Frankly, I don't think he gets enough appreciation, so I'm gonna give it to him! This song is, based on the tune of "Mandy" by the Jonas Brothers, is dedicated to the best Texan cop in Florida (in the fictional world) . . . FRANK TRIPP!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song.

* * *

Tripp

Verse One:

Tripp used to be that cop

Who had never come on the scene

But he always bashed his ex-wife

And all those criminals

()()

But by season four

He's now part of the gang

And we love his

Texan twang

()()

Chorus:

Tripp always yells at the bad guys

He knows when they tell lies

He must love his job

Oh

()()

Tripp always knows what's

Going on with the case

And he's always doing right

()()

And H is never gonna

Fire him

Because Tripp is never dim

()()

Verse Two:

Tripp is always cool

Even when he calls Ryan a fool

And he listens to forensics

Even if he doesn't understand it

()()

Even though he is bald

He is awesome with a gun

()()

Chorus:

Tripp always yells at the bad guys

He knows when they tell lies

He must love his job

Oh

()()

Tripp always knows what's

Going on with the case

And he's always doing right

()()

And H is never gonna

Fire him

Because Tripp is never dim

()()

Bridge:

When there is a crime scene

Tripp is always there

When there is a suspect

Tripp is always there

()()

When everything goes crazy

Tripp's there for MDPD

()()

He's never dim

H is never gonna fire him

()()

Chorus:

Tripp always yells at the bad guys

He knows when they tell lies

He must love his job

Oh

()()

Tripp always knows what's

Going on with the case

And he's always doing right

()()

And H is never gonna

Fire him

Because Tripp is never dim

()()

Ending:

Tripp always yells at the bad guys

He knows when they tell lies

He must love his job

Oh

()()

Tripp always knows what's

Going on with the case

And he's always doing right

()()

And H is never gonna

Fire him

Because Tripp is never dim

()()

H is never gonna

Fire him

Because Tripp is never dim

* * *

If you have a comment, complaint, praise, or suggestion about this FanFic, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	4. Hey Stetler

I HATE Rick Stetler! I just think he's a slime ball! I think that this parody, based on the tune "Hey Baby" by the Jonas Brothers, suits him perfectly!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song.

* * *

Hey Stetler

Verse One:

Hey Stetler

Why you being a snob?

Hey Rick

You're a very bad cop

()()

You drive H crazy

Trying to figure out why you are crazy

You are so bossy

()()

You may work at MDPD

But you'll never be as cool as

Horatio Caine

()()

Chorus:

Oh don't fire anyone

They are better than you

They are better than you

()()

Oh don't fire anyone

They are better than you

They are better than you

()()

Verse Two:

Hey Stetler

What's right with you?

Hey Rick

You make me go "Eew"

()()

You drive H crazy

Trying to figure out why you are crazy

You are so bossy

()()

Hey Stetler

You are a mega fool

Hey Rick

Nobody likes you

()()

You may work at MDPD

But you'll never be as cool as

Horatio Caine

()()

Chorus:

Oh don't fire anyone

They are better than you

They are better than you

()()

Oh don't fire anyone

They are better than you

They are better than you

()()

Bridge:

Hey Stetler

Why you being a snob?

Hey Rick

You're a very bad cop

()()

You drive H crazy

Trying to figure out why you are crazy

You are so bossy

()()

You may work at MDPD

But you'll never be as cool as

Horatio Caine

()()

Chorus:

Oh don't fire anyone

They are better than you

They are better than you

()()

Oh don't fire anyone

They are better than you

They are better than you

()()

Ending:

Hey Stetler

* * *

I hope you like it! Please review!


	5. Louisiana Girl

This parody is dedicated to two people (one of them very close to my heart). One is the AWESOME Calleigh Duquesne. She is an awesome, kick ass chick that I respect! I would also like to dedicate this song to my sister, who is a mega CSI: Miami and Calleigh fan. She and Calleigh are a like in many ways. They both like guns, law enforcement, Eric Delko (lol), etc. This one's for you sis! This is a parody based on the song "Mississippi Girl" by Faith Hill from Calleigh's point-of-view!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song

* * *

Louisiana Girl

Verse One:

It's a long way from

Darnell, Louisiana

To the crime scene

I'm working on today

()()

And I know

I'm blessed to be here

Thanks to

Horatio Caine

()()

And some people seem to think

That I'm strange

'Cause I'm a girl

Who knows about guns

()()

But at CSI

They know that's me

And that I'm

Bullet Girl number one

()()

Chorus:

'Cause a Louisiana girl

Don't change her ways

Just because she works

At Miami Dade

()()

Danger doesn't make her

Run and hide

()()

Still enjoys going to every

Crime scene

Works with everyone

On the team

()()

Even if

Working never takes its toll

()()

Y'all she'll always be a

Louisiana girl

()()

Verse Two:

Well I have been

All around Miami

And to be honest

There's no place I'd rather be

()()

But that don't mean

I'm ashamed of where I came from

That's just Calleigh

That's just me

()()

Yeah

()()

Chorus:

'Cause a Louisiana girl

Don't change her ways

Just because she works

At Miami Dade

()()

Danger doesn't make her

Run and hide

()()

Still enjoys going to every

Crime scene

Works with everyone

On the team

()()

Even if

Working never takes its toll

()()

Y'all she'll always be a

Louisiana girl

()()

Bridge:

Woo

()()

Chorus:

'Cause a Louisiana girl

Don't change her ways

Just because she works

At Miami Dade

()()

Danger doesn't make her

Run and hide

()()

Still enjoys going to every

Crime scene

Works with everyone

On the team

()()

Even if

Working never takes its toll

()()

That's all right

()()

'Cause

Y'all she'll always be a

Louisiana girl

()()

Ending:

Louisiana girl

Louisiana girl

Louisiana girl

Yeah Yeah

Louisiana girl

* * *

Please review! By the way, thank you daxy and New Decade for the reviews!


	6. Don't Forget to Remember Me

Wow! I haven't updated this in nearly two months! I usually update song parodies faster than this . . . but it is summer and my brain is on a MAJOR JAM! Oh well, at least this one's up at last! Anyway, this is a parody (based on the song "Don't Forget to Remember Me" by Carrie Underwood) is based around Eric and Calleigh's relationship through Season 8 from Calleigh's point-of-view. It starts at the end of "Bad Seed" and concludes at the beginning of "In the Wind". Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song!

* * *

Don't Forget to Remember Me

Verse One:

Thirteen years

Have come to pass

For Eric some were fine

Others couldn't last

()()

He was cleaning out his locker

Oh, he couldn't lie

To the crime lab

This was goodbye

()()

Then he looked at me

And said

"Calleigh don't forget . . ."

()()

Chorus One:

Please don't tell anyone

They'll find out pretty soon

And if anyone would understand me

I know it would be you

()()

And I know I've had some problems

But believe me I'll be okay

Just one more thing before I leave

Don't forget to remember me

()()

Verse Two:

This less crowded lab

Sure makes me miss him

And him not being here

Really makes my life feel dim

()()

And just like other times

I called Eric yesterday

And even if it's just a voicemail

I'll talk anyway

()()

Before I hung up

I said

"Oh, Eric don't forget . . ."

()()

Chorus Two:

That all of us at CSI

Do really miss you

It's not the same here

And yes I'm being true

()()

And H wishes to remind you

You're still family

Even if outside CSI is where you want to be

Don't forget to remember me

()()

Bridge:

Tonight I find myself

In your arms in bed

We haven't been here in awhile

So I'll just come out and say it . . .

Chorus Three:

Eric, I've been so alone, so cold

When you aren't here

No matter whether you're far or near

But don't forget to remember me

Ending:

Don't forget to remember me

* * *

I hope you guys enjoyed this! REVIEW! Feel free to make suggestions! Peace!


	7. Hey Ryan

Not to embarrass anyone or anything, but thank you Emily Blake for asking me to do a parody about Ryan Wolfe! Seriously, everyone, giving me ideas really gets me motivated to write! So if there's a certain character or event from CSI: Miami (that's workable) I will more than likely do a parody about it!

Anyway, this is a parody about Ryan (oh, I said that already, didn't I? lol) and it goes to the tune "Hey Stephen" by Taylor Swift! Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song!

* * *

Hey Ryan

Verse One:

Hey Ryan

There's no point in denying

You rock at what you do

()()

As you work

There are jerks

Like Stetler

Who try to take advantage of you

()()

Of all the CSIs

Who work at the crime lab

You are definetly one of the best

They've ever had

()()

Hey Ryan

Oh you use to do gambling

But now you're on

The straight and narrow road

()()

Chorus:

It's so awesome

You work at CSI

It's so awesome, I'll admit

I'm not gonna lie

()()

Oh

()()

You've done a lot of good

Since you've been here

Just like friends and family

You're there for Miami

()()

Verse Two:

Hey Ryan

People are always dying

So you go to work the scene

()()

You're just so so cool

Even after all you've been through

No one makes a joke

At the perfect time like you

()()

The way you talk

The way you work

The way you question suspects

You give your all; 100%

And absolutely nothing less

()()

Hey Ryan

You don't have to be trying

You know

We love you no matter what

()()

Chorus:

It's so awesome

You work at CSI

It's so awesome, I'll admit

I'm not gonna lie

()()

Oh

()()

You've done a lot of good

Since you've been here

Just like friends and family

You're there for Miami

()()

Verse Three:

You're here in Miami

Always helping

Along with

Eric and Calleigh

()()

On the scene

With Natalia and everyone

In the hot sun

()()

So do you thing

()()

Wolfe

Wolfe

Wolfe

()()

Bridge:

Hey Ryan

Some of us are close to crying

Whenever you fall down

()()

But we know

Everything will be okay

Because you always get off the ground

()()

Chorus:

It's so awesome

You work at CSI

It's so awesome, I'll admit

I'm not gonna lie

()()

Oh

()()

You've done a lot of good

Since you've been here

Just like friends and family

You're there for Miami

()()

Ending:

It's so awesome

You work at the CSI

It's so awesome, I'll admit

I'm not gonna lie

()()

Oh

()()

You've done a lot of good

Since you've been here

Just like friends and family

You're there for Miami

()()

* * *

I'm sorry if I mispelled anything on here; I'm on my dad's netbook and he doesn't have spell-check and I don't have a Beta Reader, so please hound me about that for this one! I know this isn't excuse if this parody sucks, but my mind was a bit jumbled because I did two parodies in one day: this one and this one I did for my "story" "Harry Potter and the Parodies". If you like Harry Potter, check out the parodies I have for it! Suggestions are always welcome. Review please!

BTW: **please do the poll on my profile!**


	8. CSI's Speedle

Martina McBride is my _favorite _singer! She is a hero of mine and I love her songs! So, I thought I'd do a parody based on one of the songs she's done!

This one is about the fallen CSI, Tim Speedle and it goes to Martina's song "Concrete Angel" (so sad, yet so touching! I love that song!).

Warning: my hardcore-friend-who-never-sheds-a-tear thinks this is my saddest parody yet! Don't read this if you want to be sad! It is about the last day or so of Speed's life, so if you're sad about that, you probably won't want to read this! I, TurboWiz70, am not responsible for causing she tears and emptiness . . . oh, yeah I am! Read, review, enjoy (if you can)!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song!

* * *

CSI's Speedle

Verse One:

He goes to his job

At the Miami Crime Lab

He sees one

Of the best friends he's ever had

()()

Doing the same protocol

He's always done

He didn't clean his gun

Which would be his biggest mistake

()()

Oh

()()

Calleigh was mad

Because of something he did

But it was so small

By the end of this

()()

He knows what

Could lie in store

But he believes

Miami's worth fighting for

()()

Chorus:

Through the scars

And the pain

He still goes on

Even if there's some things he can't stop

()()

But by the end of the day

It's okay

'Cause everyone knows he's good

And that's enough

()()

CSI's Speedle

()()

Verse Two:

Somebody shoots

In the middle of the store

Speed gets a bullet

And falls to the floor

()()

H has never seen

Him in this state

The paramedics will come

But it would be too late

()()

Chorus:

Through the scars

And the pain

He still goes on

Even if there's some things he can't stop

()()

But by the end of the day

It's okay

'Cause everyone knows he's good

And that's enough

()()

CSI's Speedle

()()

Bridge:

The coffin goes

Into the ground

The rifles go

And there's no other sound

()()

His name is carved

Into the grave

A remembrance to the man

Who was so brave

()()

Chorus:

Through the scars

And the pain

He still goes on

Even if there's some things he can't stop

()()

But by the end of the day

It's okay

'Cause everyone knows he's good

And that's enough

()()

CSI's Speedle

()()

* * *

I know it's sad, but I hope you guys like it! Suggestions are always welcome! Please review and continue to read!


	9. Horatio, the RedHaired Cop

GRRRRR! I am so furious with myself for not updating this September! I can't believe that Christmas is less than two weeks away and I haven't written ANY CSI: MIAMI PARODIES IN THREE MONTHS! Ugh! I hope my fellow readers forgive my absence and I promise that I NEVER take this long to update again unless something major happens (hopefully it won't).

Anyway, in light of the holiday season, I decided to do a parody about Horatio based on the well-known song "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer". Read, review, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song!

* * *

Horatio, the Red-Haired Cop

You know Eric, and Calleigh

And Alexx, and Ryan

Natalia, and Walter

And Frank, and Tim

()()

But do you know

The greatest CSI in the world

()()

Horatio, the red-haired cop

Had very cool shades

And if he wore them

It was time to save the day

()()

All of the other CSIs

Really admire Horatio Caine

They know there's a problem

H will help solve the case

()()

Then one ordinary day

He went to Stetler to say

"Rick you can't get off so fast

Now I'm gonna kick your ass"

()()

Everyone in Miami loves him

And cheer if you agree

"Horatio, the red-haired cop

You're a part of CSI history"

()()

Then one ordinary day

He went to Stetler to say

"Rick you can't get off so fast

Now I'm gonna kick your ass"

()()

Everyone in Miami loves him

And cheer if you agree

"Horatio, the red-haired cop

You're a part of CSI history"

* * *

What you think? Please review and continue to read!


	10. Calleigh's Song Oh, My, My, My

Dang! How long has it been since I updated these! Oh yeah, MONTHS! Sorry about the delay! Here's the next parody! It's Eric and Calleigh's relationship to the tune of "Mary's Song (Oh My, My, My)" by Taylor Swift! _Huge_ thanks to my sister for helping me with this one! Love you sis!

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: Miami or this song!

* * *

Calleigh's Song (Oh My, My, My)

Verse One:

Cal says . . .

()()

I was a cop

And you were not

I didn't think we'd lead to a lot

Then H gave you a shot

()()  
And Alexx talked about the two of us

Growing closer and falling in love

()()

Then Horatio smiled

With no surprise

And thought

"Oh, my, my, my"

()()

Chorus One:

Took me back to the time

We met by the car

You looked at me

Like a shining star

()()

Like you still do

Like you still do

()()

Took me back to when

You asked for my number

That's the one pick-up line

I'll always remember

()()

Just two friends

You and I

Oh my, my, my

()()

Verse Two:

Well you were

Shot so suddenly

I wasn't the same Darnell girl

You used to see

()()

But you felt a lot

And you wanted to give love a shot

()()

And Alexx talked about the two of us

Who knew we would fall in love

()()

And Horatio smiled

With no surprise

And thought

"Oh my, my, my"

()()

Chorus Two:

Took me back to the hospital

When you stood by my side

When you were released

I kissed you outside

()()

And all I'd need

Was you lying by me

()()

Took me back to the time

You left CSI

I forced a smile

So you wouldn't see my cry

()()

You came back

In a blink of an eye

()()

Oh my, my, my

()()

Bridge:

Two years of ups and downs

And we know well never lose the love we found

You said "I love you Calleigh

Will you marry me?"

()()

Chorus Three:

Took me back to the time

You put that ring on my hand

Everyone from CSI came

Horatio was the best man

()()

You said "I do"

I said it back to you

()()

You are no longer towing

Around old cars

We will tell our children

This love story of ours

()()

Till the end of time

You and I

()()

Ending:

When we both retire we would've come very far

But you'll still look at me

Like your shining star in the sky

Oh my, my, my

* * *

Not sure when I'll be updating again, but I may soon depending on when I think of the next one. I hope you guys liked this one! Reviews please!


End file.
